Despite what you see on social media, life is imperfect. Vehicles break, technology lags, loved ones’ schedules don’t coincide, and the makeup tutorial you watched looks totally different when you try it yourself.
Life gets messy, accidents happen, and unplanned circumstances test us to our very core. Today’s podcast is about your thoughts around life’s imperfections and seeing the good and opportunity amid chaos and injury.
We’ve been conditioned to strive for flawlessness. Next time you are at the grocery checkout, glance at the magazines. Have you ever seen any that have not been retouched? There is an ideal in our society that flawless is beautiful.
Golden Flaws & The Body
As a child, I fell, or rather yet slid, into the sharp edge of a bed frame. Five stitches later, I was repaired, but my mom lamented my perfect nose was no longer perfect. Some of you may say it’s horrible for a mother to say that to a child. Before you do, I never took it negatively. Maybe that’s just me, but even now, looking back, I am not hurt by it.
I just want to get that out of the way 😊 My perfect nose (and that’s a thought to start with) was no longer perfect (still a thought), but I didn’t have issues then or now about how my nose looked.
Often people look at their body and wish something would be different. Whether it’s cosmetic and you don’t like how your nose looks or the size of your boobs. And I’ll just share I’m not against you wanting to change your body as long as you aware of the thoughts behind it. Are you doing it from a place of love or self-loathing?
How about looking at your body from a functional standpoint. What happens when things don’t work like they used to. It could be a bad shoulder or hip. Some accept things as they are, and others take the initiative to fix what doesn’t feel right to them. Usually, a man-made fix to our body results in some form of a scar. Some view scars as part of life experience, others as flaws. And I find it interesting how each of us views things.
Regardless of what you think, I’d like you to consider flaws can be beautiful too. Flaws tell a life story. It can be a lesson learned, a story of survival, or even a triumph over adversity. I’m facing surgery, and I know scars will be involved. I’m less concerned with the scars than the actual surgery itself. Maybe I need to do a podcast on anxiety around surgery because I’ve got a lot to talk about there. LOL
A couple of years ago, a friend talked about everything going on in her life and how it all seemed such a struggle. She jokingly said, “I want things to be perfect,” and we both laughed. Then I asked her if she was familiar with Kintsugi. She was like, what’s that? She’s into Asian studies, so I texted her a photo while we were on the phone.
Kintsugi is an ancient Japanese art that repairs broken pottery with gold dust epoxy. Most of the time, when you repair something, whether it’s surgery, dings on a car, nail holes in your wall, or pottery, the goal is to hide the cracks and the damage. In Kintsugi, the goal is the opposite. The art highlights and accentuates the flaws with gold to celebrate the piece’s history. Isn’t that beautiful? Pull up a picture online, and you’ll have a whole new appreciation for flaws.
Beautiful, unique pieces. Beautiful, unique bodies. It’s said that some Japanese artists intentionally break dishes and bowls to repair them with gold to make them more valuable. When our body is repaired and optimized, we, too, become more valuable.
The thing is, nothing is perfect. Nothing lasts, and nothing is finished. In Japanese aesthetics, they refer to this as Wabi-Sabi. Beauty is in imperfections, and there is value in the passage of time. If we apply the same concept to our lives, it boils down to permitting ourselves to be ourselves, to be imperfect, and to know sometimes things might need to be fixed, and when they are, there might be scars. It also boils down to knowing that with age comes changes to the body but also wisdom. The more we resist what it is, the more we struggle. Ultimately, we have our body 24/7 for the rest of our lives. That is why I talk about the Law of Acceptance so frequently.
So, I also mentioned wisdom. Let’s talk about the concept of the 14-carat mind.
A 14-Carat Mind
The idea behind this podcast actually came from the song of that title – 14 Carat Mind, by Gene Watson.
It’s a song basically about a high-maintenance girl. LOL. My husband said it should be my theme song, another story for another day. It’s a great story for another podcast just looking at each person’s thoughts around what is high maintenance to another versus what is a standard set for oneself.
But anyway, as the song played on the radio the other day, I thought about a mind covered in 14-carat gold and immediately went back to the concept of Kintsugi. What if all our perceived flaws, all the limiting beliefs, all the shame and embarrassment, all the critical thinking, and all the stories we tell ourselves were repaired in gold? What if it all made us unique and valuable? Because it does make us unique, and it does make us valuable.
If you are experiencing overwhelm, frustration, insecurities, or fill in the blank with whatever emotions make life feel less than perfect, those thoughts impact your well-being. They are taking mental energy and chipping away at the foundation of a truly happy and rich life.
If you want to identify with a more positive outlook, it involves changing and repairing the negative thoughts to create new results. We work on that in The Clarity Club, and we are figuratively filling those cracks with gold! Now you may still feel anxiety and worry or some of the other negative emotions, but the difference is when you repair your thoughts around situations, you don’t let them rule your life and take you down the path of no return.
One of the biggest takeaways from my study of meditation and Ayurveda at the Chopra Center is learning to watch my thoughts. Knowing I can feel and understand them but simultaneously look at them from a place of non-judgment and as a witness. I’ve often shared with clients and students that my go-to is instead of saying I’m sad, my saying is “Sadness is happening.” And it’s a reminder that I’m in control of my feelings.
When you can look at things more from the standpoint of “What is it here to teach me? What is it leading me towards?” The whole paradigm shifts. In my lesson on Dissecting Disruption, I talk about this a lot, where we dissect what life’s hiccups are here to teach us. I also share a lot of this concept in my Masterclass Living the Dream, which is basically an exercise in making your ideal life of purpose a reality.
When it comes to your mind, it’s important to understand that you are always the creator of your emotions and how you show up. Poet Mary Oliver said, “Are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?” And I’ll pose that same question to you. How are you just going through life not appreciating the golden flaws and the 14 carats in your mind? How are you longing for things to be different than they are?
Oliver goes on to say, “While the soul, after all, is only a window, and the opening of the window no more difficult than the wakening from a little sleep.” Ahh, the interconnectedness of everything. The body, the mind, the spirit. And that is why I love the work we do in our membership.
You know, I think it’s such a beautiful outlook. Instead of beating ourselves up. The ability to look at our imperfections, flaws, and scars as what makes us who we are.That uniqueness in my book makes us a more valuable gift to the world.
So don’t look at your physical or mental flaws as detriments. Don’t look at where you are and think about where you should be. Instead, realize that setbacks are merely setups for what you were destined for. And all the flaws – imagine them filled with gold. You are rich beyond your wildest dreams, and be proud of your flaws and yourself.
Until next time remember gold is the money of kings, and you, my friend, are a Queen! Embrace your life, your body, and your thoughts.
This is Micah Hill Signing Out.
